saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
