His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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