Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
