I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
