let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
