she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
