yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
