My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
