why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you will always have a special place in my vag
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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