Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
