On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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