I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
