The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
