how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
