also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
