so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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