apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
