Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
