so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
