I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
