yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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