I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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