My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
