i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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