Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
