The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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