He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
