two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
