I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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