gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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