Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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