hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
