in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
A+ Viking dick
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
