if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
