i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
