is your mom at the bar?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
