I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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