Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
