4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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