..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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