my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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