I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
