he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
