this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
