Need sex. Gaining weight.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
