Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
