I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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