Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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