these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
