Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am

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(352): View more from Florida

I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.

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(915): View more from Texas

I told you I was good to drive

(1-915): View more from Texas

dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.

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(813): View more from Florida

It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.

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(240): View more from Maryland

This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.

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