i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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